This Spring will mark ten years since I received my master's degree in Midwifery from Yale University and became a Certified Nurse Midwife (CNM). It is difficult to believe so much time has gone by. I fondly think of all the women, babies, and families I have cared for. Pregnancy and childbirth are such profound life events. I feel so honored to have been able to share this intimate, happy time with so many families. I have also been struck by the strength and perseverance I have witnessed during times of loss, disappointment, and the unexpected.
I have currently made the decision to stop my work as a midwife and be home with my family. Like so many other women, I have struggled with balancing mothering and professional life. It is difficult to do it all. Midwifery is very demanding work. It is lovely and satisfying and all of that. But it is also tiring and demands a high level of intellectual and emotional attention. Because my husband has a very demanding and time-consuming career, I found that I had no built-in backup and support at home.
I look at my books. They represent so much of what I have learned and what excites me about midwifery. I know I will find a way to enter back into this work. But right now, I am engaged in the work of mothering. This is a job more demanding and tiring than midwifery ever was. Yet, the tender love I have for my children is a reward like no other. I am here to honor the choices mothers make and the struggles they may encounter on their journey. There is no road map. And unfortunately, for many of us, our culture does not provide clear guidance. My deepest wish is that we open our hearts and hands to each other and make the journey as joyous and satisfying as possible.