Lovely World

more about birds

Warm temperatures. Thunder storms. Daffodils in the garden. Wildflowers along the trail in the woods. I think spring is settling in.

I purchased this Peterson's Field Guide to Birds' Nests at the library book sale last week. I am enjoy looking through the pages at the wide variety of nesting that birds do. What a leap of faith for these birds to leave such fragile packages among the branches of trees and brush, or even on the ground. I guess it is the same leap of faith that we humans take when we have a baby. I believe that pregnancy and parenting are such practices in letting go. Letting go of control. Letting go of preconceived notions of how things should be. These are not always easy lessons. And they can bring both great joy and terrible heartbreak.

I made a couple more linen and wool wading birds. I think I will make a flamingo next. I have some beautiful pink hand-dyed wool and pink linen. I am also working out some patterns for butterflies. I see the wings as opportunities for embroidery. These are my spring projects.

A Midwife

This Spring will mark ten years since I received my master's degree in Midwifery from Yale University and became a Certified Nurse Midwife (CNM). It is difficult to believe so much time has gone by. I fondly think of all the women, babies, and families I have cared for. Pregnancy and childbirth are such profound life events. I feel so honored to have been able to share this intimate, happy time with so many families. I have also been struck by the strength and perseverance I have witnessed during times of loss, disappointment, and the unexpected.

I have currently made the decision to stop my work as a midwife and be home with my family. Like so many other women, I have struggled with balancing mothering and professional life. It is difficult to do it all. Midwifery is very demanding work. It is lovely and satisfying and all of that. But it is also tiring and demands a high level of intellectual and emotional attention. Because my husband has a very demanding and time-consuming career, I found that I had no built-in backup and support at home.

I look at my books. They represent so much of what I have learned and what excites me about midwifery. I know I will find a way to enter back into this work. But right now, I am engaged in the work of mothering. This is a job more demanding and tiring than midwifery ever was. Yet, the tender love I have for my children is a reward like no other. I am here to honor the choices mothers make and the struggles they may encounter on their journey. There is no road map. And unfortunately, for many of us, our culture does not provide clear guidance. My deepest wish is that we open our hearts and hands to each other and make the journey as joyous and satisfying as possible.

The Gift of Soup

Not long ago my friend who lives up the road at Caretaker Farm (that is her lovely red barn in the photo) left a bag in our mudroom. The bag contained dinner. When we arrived home that afternoon from a day of skiing, I was thrilled to find that in order to put food on the table, all I needed to do was warm up what was in the bag.

At first I was puzzled as to why my friend would leave me this delicious package. She is busy with young children and running a farm, and I'm sure she doesn't regularly drop food by her neighbor's house just for the heck of it. Then I read the note that was tucked into the bag. She was bringing me this food now because she had failed to get food to me after my mastectomy surgery last year. I was so touched. Even though this dinner was coming at a time that I was feeling recovered and strong (I had spent the day skiing along beautiful trails in Vermont!), I still felt that it supported and honored all that I had been through to get to this day.

This gift held another surprise for me. The food was packaged in a recycled yogurt container, and I couldn't tell what it was at first. As I took off the lid, I could see that it was some sort of soup or stew. I got out a saucepan and poured the contents of the container into it. Oh my, I recognized that soup! It was the Gypsy Soup from the "Moosewood Cookbook." I could see all the chick peas, sweet potatoes and peppers in a broth colored golden by the tumeric, paprika, and cayenne. I had been gifted the very same soup over eight years ago, right after the birth of my daughter. My midwife colleagues at the time had organized a group of women to bring us food every day or so for the first weeks after the birth. I so clearly remember the bowls of Gypsy Soup I ate while nursing my new little girl. That soup, and all the other food that was sent our way, nourished me not only physically but emotionally as well. That food served as a connection to other women, most of them mothers. That food welcomed me into my new role, my new life, as a mother.

Consider making someone Gypsy Soup (or whatever other tasty treats you have in your cooking repertoire). Your gift of food will connect you to others. It will serve as support and comfort for another at a time of illness, birth of a baby, death of a loved one, or other time of transition. And remember, it is never too late to deliver that pot of soup.

What I'm Liking Now

Here is a smattering of things I'm enjoying right now:

1. Music by Maeve Gilchrist. Who knew the harp could be so hip?

2. Embroidery for kids. This is a very simple, inexpensive craft that both of my kids enjoy. Aside from needing my assistance with the periodic rethreading of embroidery floss, the kids are quiet and independent as they stitch. What Mama doesn't love activities like that? 

3. Apples. I have been eating at least one apple every day. The market is still offering quite a few varieties of local apples. I buy lots of kinds, stow them in the fridge, and surprise myself as I bite into a randomly chosen one - the flavors being so distinct. I like apples with cheese, apples and almond butter, apples cut into salad, and apple tarts.

4. The efforts of Ricki Lake and Abby Epstein. They made the documentary film The Business of Being Born , which explores the current status of birth in the United States. As a midwife, I have been discouraged by the continuing trend towards medicalized birth. Ricki and Abby's film, and the grassroots movement that has grown up around the film, are pressing the medical and lay communities into a frank discussion about birth. The New York Times just ran an article about the increase in homebirths in NYC, likely influenced by the film. I have a lot more to say about this issue, but for now you can check out the above links.

5. Going on walks - with my husband. Before kids, David and I used to walk together almost every day. Now-a-days, my walks are usually solitary or with the kids. I love walking with David. Conversation flows freely as we fall into step with each other. He is also a die-hard bushwhacker (this exciting word simply means to walk through the woods off the trail). We have discovered so many beautiful places together, simply by leaving the well-beaten path.